Starting weight: 275
Current weight: 250
Goal weight: 160 (hahahaha)
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
17 week appointment
Appointment went well. We opted not to find out which gender Peanut will be. Though we will have at least an unltrasound every 4 more weeks (yay for being high risk, blarg). Doctors due date is 7-4-10. Baby is looking good, awfully squirming for the ultrasound tech again. But things are looking great ♥ Was told I'm not eating enough by the doc (who is not my doc). But the nurse (who has done this 2 other times with me) disagrees. I've lost weight since before I was pregnant, but I'm also not retaining water like a balloon, like normal. *shrugs*
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Weight Loss is on hold
Below you will find something I posted to my facebook. Not sure why I didn't post it here.
So far we have made it to 15 weeks in my pregnancy! That is so exciting. We are hoping to last at least another 20 weeks!
So being pregnant puts my weight loss goals on hold, for now. I still intend to loose weight. Just have to wait a few more weeks. <3
I have lost 30 pounds since my heaviest! WOAH! What an accomplishment. Though, 10 of those pounds were while pregnant and very sick! So I'm hoping I can keep those pounds off after little Peanut gets here.
I think I'll keep the blog going with Pregnancy updates.
Starting weight: 275
Current weight: 245
Goal weight: 160 (hahahaha)
When Joyful news isn't so joyful
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 9:49am | Edit Note | Delete
I'm going to attempt to explain why I have been loosing my mind lately. Many of you won't understand. Many of you just won't get it.
I have severe kidney disease. I've had my disease for 9 years. It's taken me 9 years (or longer, since i only found out 9 years ago) to go from 95 percent kidney function down to 20 percent. This is a miracle. I am very lucky and very blessed. Many people with my disease have started dialysis already and are on a transplant list. I have had 2 beautiful children and am still kicking it old school.
While pregant with my oldest (almost 7 now) I was put on bedrest 3 months and then hospitalized 7 weeks before he was born. The treatment plan was not fun.
With my second (5 now) I was able to do my treatments at home, but with the knowledge if I didn't take it easy I would be hospitalized again. I worked until I couldn't anymore, and then he pulled me from work about 2 months before she got here. "Bedrest" doesn't work so well with a toddler, lol. But I did okay enough to not need hospitalized again. She was born, but spent some time in the NICU (1 week).
Four, almost 5 now, years ago I had a large Pulmonary Embolism (bloodclot in my lung). The ER doctor had tears in his eyes when he told me. He wasn't even going to look for that. But my nephrologist (kidney doctor) insisted he do more than an X-ray. My family doctor pretty much told me I would have died if I waited any longer. My guardian angel sure was looking out for me. I'm stubborn about going to the ER, let me tell you. I really am. With all my problems, I still think I'm super woman ;) lol. I had a very dear friend (Missy) pretty much force me do what my doctor said (go to the ER), she drove me. It was good having her there. Martin go there ASAP. But I was in the hospital for a week.
Almost 3 years ago (come January), we were preparing for dialysis. I went through the class and everything. It took me 3 years to go from 25 percent to 20. I've been mentally prepared for kidney failure for a long time. Many people don't have that blessing. Some people have instant failure, so they feel bitter and don't understand. Some people didn't know they had a problem, and are angry. Some people refuse to do certain things to help themselves get better. I've not had the problem. I'm not bitter at all. I've been ready for a long time. Willing for the next step towards transplant. Praying for peace, knowing it's inevitable. Praying for a miracle, even for the miracle of medicine.
So that is very brief, "health history" of me. What's wrong now? I'm pregnant. It's very hard for me to be joyful about this. The baby is a blessing, it will be worth it. Do you know how hard it is to continue telling myself that? I know it will, but to think I may not even be able to carry the baby long enough for the little one to survive is terrifying. I am scared. I am tired. I don't want to loose the baby. I'm, physically, okay right now. But with as low a function as I have chances are good that my kidneys will get worse. Dialysis and pregnancy does not work so well. I will not die, but the baby might. Then again, the baby might not. The doctors are going to do what they can to get me and the baby through this.
Yesterday the doctor "laid it out", so we would know what's ahead. Things don't look so good.
I'm sorry for being crazy chick for a few weeks. It's been really hard not telling anyone. It's harder now, telling people. Especially since I don't know how to be happy. I feel like it's my fault if I loose the baby, which I know is ridiculous.
I want this baby so bad, I think I will have a nervous breakdown. I'm trying not to be stressed, but it's really really hard.
Please do not pity me, or feel bad, or make the "I'm sorry" faces. Just pray and send good thoughts.I'm usually stronger than this and it drives me nuts that I don't feel so strong right now. I love my little baby already and the thought of me not being able to take care of the wee one makes me sick. Sick of it all. I'm not one who likes having her Faith tested, because in my heart I know God's plan is better than my plan. My mind is just having a hard time at the moment understanding.
So, yeah. Prayers, prayers, and prayers would be very nice right now. I want this to be happy news, and it will eventually. When I get past the being paniced and not know what to do stage.
So far we have made it to 15 weeks in my pregnancy! That is so exciting. We are hoping to last at least another 20 weeks!
So being pregnant puts my weight loss goals on hold, for now. I still intend to loose weight. Just have to wait a few more weeks. <3
I have lost 30 pounds since my heaviest! WOAH! What an accomplishment. Though, 10 of those pounds were while pregnant and very sick! So I'm hoping I can keep those pounds off after little Peanut gets here.
I think I'll keep the blog going with Pregnancy updates.
Starting weight: 275
Current weight: 245
Goal weight: 160 (hahahaha)
When Joyful news isn't so joyful
Share
Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 9:49am | Edit Note | Delete
I'm going to attempt to explain why I have been loosing my mind lately. Many of you won't understand. Many of you just won't get it.
I have severe kidney disease. I've had my disease for 9 years. It's taken me 9 years (or longer, since i only found out 9 years ago) to go from 95 percent kidney function down to 20 percent. This is a miracle. I am very lucky and very blessed. Many people with my disease have started dialysis already and are on a transplant list. I have had 2 beautiful children and am still kicking it old school.
While pregant with my oldest (almost 7 now) I was put on bedrest 3 months and then hospitalized 7 weeks before he was born. The treatment plan was not fun.
With my second (5 now) I was able to do my treatments at home, but with the knowledge if I didn't take it easy I would be hospitalized again. I worked until I couldn't anymore, and then he pulled me from work about 2 months before she got here. "Bedrest" doesn't work so well with a toddler, lol. But I did okay enough to not need hospitalized again. She was born, but spent some time in the NICU (1 week).
Four, almost 5 now, years ago I had a large Pulmonary Embolism (bloodclot in my lung). The ER doctor had tears in his eyes when he told me. He wasn't even going to look for that. But my nephrologist (kidney doctor) insisted he do more than an X-ray. My family doctor pretty much told me I would have died if I waited any longer. My guardian angel sure was looking out for me. I'm stubborn about going to the ER, let me tell you. I really am. With all my problems, I still think I'm super woman ;) lol. I had a very dear friend (Missy) pretty much force me do what my doctor said (go to the ER), she drove me. It was good having her there. Martin go there ASAP. But I was in the hospital for a week.
Almost 3 years ago (come January), we were preparing for dialysis. I went through the class and everything. It took me 3 years to go from 25 percent to 20. I've been mentally prepared for kidney failure for a long time. Many people don't have that blessing. Some people have instant failure, so they feel bitter and don't understand. Some people didn't know they had a problem, and are angry. Some people refuse to do certain things to help themselves get better. I've not had the problem. I'm not bitter at all. I've been ready for a long time. Willing for the next step towards transplant. Praying for peace, knowing it's inevitable. Praying for a miracle, even for the miracle of medicine.
So that is very brief, "health history" of me. What's wrong now? I'm pregnant. It's very hard for me to be joyful about this. The baby is a blessing, it will be worth it. Do you know how hard it is to continue telling myself that? I know it will, but to think I may not even be able to carry the baby long enough for the little one to survive is terrifying. I am scared. I am tired. I don't want to loose the baby. I'm, physically, okay right now. But with as low a function as I have chances are good that my kidneys will get worse. Dialysis and pregnancy does not work so well. I will not die, but the baby might. Then again, the baby might not. The doctors are going to do what they can to get me and the baby through this.
Yesterday the doctor "laid it out", so we would know what's ahead. Things don't look so good.
I'm sorry for being crazy chick for a few weeks. It's been really hard not telling anyone. It's harder now, telling people. Especially since I don't know how to be happy. I feel like it's my fault if I loose the baby, which I know is ridiculous.
I want this baby so bad, I think I will have a nervous breakdown. I'm trying not to be stressed, but it's really really hard.
Please do not pity me, or feel bad, or make the "I'm sorry" faces. Just pray and send good thoughts.I'm usually stronger than this and it drives me nuts that I don't feel so strong right now. I love my little baby already and the thought of me not being able to take care of the wee one makes me sick. Sick of it all. I'm not one who likes having her Faith tested, because in my heart I know God's plan is better than my plan. My mind is just having a hard time at the moment understanding.
So, yeah. Prayers, prayers, and prayers would be very nice right now. I want this to be happy news, and it will eventually. When I get past the being paniced and not know what to do stage.
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